by: Brad Swift

I find it interesting that although the United States is considered by many to be the most prosperous country in the world and the most prosperous society in history, so many of us are unhappy. It has also been my observation that an increasing number of us are awakening to this fact, and are searching for ways to be happier. Perhaps by taking some of the following suggestions to heart and putting them into action, you will move a few steps further down the road to inner happiness.

1. STOP — In a recent interview with small business guru Michael Gerber, author of “The E-Myth Revisited,” I asked him what one key step or strategy would it give to listeners that they could put into place in their businesses that would make the biggest difference. He summarized it in one word — stop! Stop and take the time to really think through what you’re doing.

The advice is just as sound in our personal lives. Most of our lives are simply running out of control. It’s like we have our ‘pedal to the metal’ and we don’t know how to take our foot off, or perhaps we’re afraid of what will happen if we do. I’m more concerned about what will happen if we don’t.

2. WHAT IS INNER HAPPINESS? — One of the most important reasons to stop the frenetic pace of your life for a while is so you can begin to answer the question, “What is inner happiness?” Once you’ve spent a bit of time on that one, go on to these:

~ What will bring me inner happiness?

~ How will I know when I’ve experienced a new level of inner happiness?

~ What will it look like, feel like, what will be happening or not happening in my life?

~ Where would I want to experience more inner happiness?

At work? At home? With my family and friends?

3. SHIFT YOUR ATTITUDE TO ONE OF ‘DESERVABILITY’ — This is a new word that a participant in one of my workshops recently coined. I like what happens from combining ‘deserve’ with ‘ability.’ We are all able to shift our attitude to one of deserving happiness. And if you aren’t then there may be some deep seated emotional blocks that need to be addressed through counseling or some other channels. This step is summarized in one of my favorite sayings, “Suffering is optional.” You deserve to be happy.

4. HANDLE LIFE’S DETAILS ONCE AND FOR ALL — The details I’m referring to are those basic needs that we all have — food, clothing, shelter, love, and so on. Is it possible to have inner peace while your outer life is in turmoil? Yes, actually I believe that it is possible, but I also believe it’s a lot more challenging and so unnecessary. It’s difficult to take the time to contemplate what will bring you true inner happiness when your stomach keeps growling from lack of food. Go take care of your stomach first.

5. ELIMINATE WHAT DETRACTS FROM HAPPINESS — These next two steps are so simple in nature that their power can easily be missed. If you want inner happiness (or pretty much anything else), eliminate from your life that which detracts from it. This includes those emotional blocks I spoke about earlier. It may also include the elimination of ‘toxic relationships,’ clutter around your home, unsatisfying work, excess weight, and other negative ’stuff’.

6. ADD IN MORE OF WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY — Once you’ve eliminated ’stuff’ that makes you unhappy or detracts from your happiness, you’ve made room for adding what will contribute to your happiness. This can work on many different levels. For example, once I cleaned and organized my office, and eliminated many of the file folders that surrounded my desk, there was room to add some beauty to my office decor. I now have a small fountain on top of my oak filing cabinet, a decorative aquarium on the library table and several plants. But when I was surrounded by clutter, there was no room for these beautiful additions. My surroundings now contribute to my happiness.

7. FIND YOUR BALANCE BETWEEN INNER WORK AND OUTER EXPRESSION — I’m recently read a wonderful book by Wayne Muller, “Sabbath: Restoring the Sacred Rhythm of Rest.” (Bantam Books, April 1999) The following passage points to this important step to happiness:

“The noise of our lives made us deaf, unable to hear when we are called, or from which direction. Henri (a friend of Muller’s and a priest) said our lives have become absurd — because in the word absurd we find the Latin word absurdus, which means ‘deaf.’ In our spiritual life we need to listen to God who constantly speaks but whom we seldom hear in our hurried defense.

On the other hand, Henri was fond of reminding me that the word obedient comes from the Latin word audire, which means ‘to listen.’ Henri believed that a spiritual life was a pilgrimage from absurdity to obedience — from deafness to listening.”

If you’re living a loud life of absurdity, it’s important to add in moments of peaceful rest and solitude so you can listen and hear life call to you.

8. KEEP WATERING THE ROOTS OF YOUR HAPPINESS TREE — As you identify what provides you with inner happiness it’s important to keep doing them. While this may sound so obvious as to be not worth mentioning, it’s surprising how often people stop doing what they know works. If watering the roots produces luscious fruit then keep watering the roots. If devoting the first hour of each day in quiet meditation and reflection helps you stay centered and present throughout your day and that makes you happy, then don’t drop that special time out of your routine.

9. SPREAD IT AROUND — Happiness doesn’t have to be a one-person show. While it may begin with you and end with you, in between are plenty of opportunities to spread it around to others. You will probably find that spreading it around simply adds to your own experience of joy and satisfaction, so don’t be stingy with it.

10. ACKNOWLEDGE THE ‘SHADOW’ AND MOVE ON — And from time to time even the happiest among us will have occasion for sadness. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate our happiness. So, when those days come along, embrace them. Allow yourself to be present to whatever there’s just know that you don’t need to stay stuck in the shadows. Acknowledge them and then, when you’re ready, move on.

©2005 Brad Swift of Life On Purpose Institute, Inc. This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included.

Article Courtesy of :

Steve Pohlit, Business Development
Consultant

by: Beth Banning %26 Neill Gibson

End your “pursuit of happiness” by discovering the art of “having happiness now.” Has it ever seemed to you that: relationships are free but happiness is sold separately? Learn why authentic happiness is a choice you can start making today, and discover how to start finding the happiness you’re looking for just one step away.

Would you like to be 100%25 happier than you are now? How about 1,000%25 happier? What stands between you and having greater happiness now? Read on to see how you can discover the happiness you’re looking for in your life. It’s just one step away.

Have you ever noticed how often people rely on others in their pursuit of happiness? How they expect someone else to make them happy? You might hear people say things like: “If only he would be nicer.” “Didn’t she know that would hurt my feelings?” “I would be happy if he would only talk to me more.”

When people have this idea in their head they can spend a lot of time figuring out how to fix or change other people.

What’s the trouble if you try this strategy? Not only do the other people feel irritated, they often get defensive at your attempt to “FIX” them. And it leaves you powerless. If THEY don’t change, YOU can’t be happy.

But even more important is that, since what you focus your attention on grows, focusing on what you don’t like will cause it to become what you notice most in your life.

Say, for example, when your significant other comes home they often leave a trail with their clothes, bags, books, whatever, strewn throughout the house. It drives you nuts! Every time you look at the residue of stuff they leave behind them, you feel irritated.

This has gone on for so long that now you notice every little piece of debris, everywhere you look, all the time.

And what you focus your attention on grows.

Perhaps you say something like this to them: “Can’t you pick up after yourself? You are such a slob.”

It’s probably not the first time you’ve talked about the clothes on the floor. And probably not much has changed since that first time. So what happens next?

The person leaving the clothes around probably gets annoyed at being told what to do. You lose hope that things will ever change. And you focus more and more on what you don’t enjoy about your partner.

Remember, what you focus your attention on grows!

So here it is, the step that will move you closer to being happier than ever before: Develop YOUR ability to focus your attention on what you ENJOY.

Maybe this sounds too simple. But ask yourself: “What would my day be like if I started and ended it by simply noticing or remembering everything that I enjoy in my life?”

Remember, what you focus your attention on grows. Focus on what you enjoy – it’s quite simply the fastest, easiest step you can take to start finding happiness in every moment.

Try this. Pretend that you have an emotional bank account. Every one of your thoughts makes a deposit. This means that if you’re constantly depositing painful memories in your emotional bank account, they will grow and grow.

They’ll even start multiplying if you’re using the law of compound interest. What’s this? It’s compounding the effect of thoughts like: “What a slob!” with more thoughts like: “She doesn’t care about me.” or “He’s the most selfish person I’ve ever met.”

Now, do you feel happy?

Now imagine that each day, you look for things that you enjoy, and you are thankful for them.

Your significant other comes into the house and smiles. Is that something to be thankful for? They ask you if you would like a cup of tea. Is that something to be thankful for? You see them put something away, without being asked. Is that something to be thankful for?

Now imagine depositing these memories in your emotional bank account, day after day. And compound them with as many other thankful, grateful thoughts as you can so they grow and grow. “It’s lovely when he brings me tea; he’s so considerate sometimes.” “I’m so glad we like doing things together.” “We just have so much in common; she is so much fun to be with”

How do you feel now?

Happy or sad, good or bad, pleasure or pain – authentic happiness is up to you. Focus on what you enjoy. Enjoy being thankful. It’s something anyone can do, even you.

What you focus your attention on will grow. You do have an emotional bank account so start saving your happiness up today. With a bank-full of thankful, you’ll be a master at the art of “having happiness now.”

Article Courtesy of :

Steve Pohlit, Business Development
Consultant

by: Barbara White

Are You Chasing the Elusive Butterfly of Happiness?

For many people happiness is an elusive butterfly in the garden of life. Imagine a young child in the garden on a summer day. The child sees a beautiful butterfly flitting from flower to flower. With eyes of wonder the child wants to see it close up, touch it, and hold it in their hands. The child goes towards the flower that the butterfly is resting on, with arms out stretched, only to find as he just gets in reach, the butterfly moves to another flower. Undeterred the child follows the butterfly to the next flower, and then the next, but the butterfly always stays just out of reach.

As adults, happiness can seem just like that butterfly, always just out of reach. It becomes almost an obsession and the words “if only” become an increasingly large part of our thoughts and vocabulary. If only I had more money I would be happy, if only I was in a great relationship I would be happy, if only I could have a different job.and the list goes on. Even if we achieve one of our “if only “desires, the happiness we seek is still just out of our reach. The truth of the saying “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” becomes our focus and perception. If this becomes our focus, we find that dissatisfaction and unhappiness increasingly keep growing in our life and experience.

The unhappiness within us can not be completely satisfied by external events or circumstances. To find happiness in life we must first be at peace with ourselves internally. External events and circumstances can bring us happiness in the moment, but they do not have a lasting effect on our inner self. Life experience brings a mixture of good and bad circumstances to everyone. To rely on life’s experiences for our source of happiness would mean living life in a constant emotional roller coaster ride.

Happiness comes from within. The inner contentment that survives the roller coaster ride of life has its roots deep within our being. The source of happiness comes from finding and embracing who we are as a person, and living a life of purpose. We need to find peace in every aspect of our life- the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. To discover acceptance, purpose and peace in all of these areas will give a sense of completion in life. If we neglect any one of these areas, we experience a sense of emptiness and feel something is missing. There is not a solid foundation for building happiness within, but we then, typically start to try to fill this incompleteness by looking for outside solutions. That is the point when we can fall into the ‘elusive butterfly’ syndrome, and experience such frustration.

Is happiness an elusive butterfly for you? Spend some time in quiet reflection. Are you neglecting one of the four important parts of who you are and experiencing a sense of emptiness within? The more you discover, embrace and accept your uniqueness and purpose, the more you will experience the butterfly of happiness alighting on your shoulder.

Article Courtesy of :

Steve Pohlit, Business Development
Consultant